Taking Care of Number One: YOU!

What You Can Do For Your Self

How many of you have never really thought about what you do for yourself? In today’s world we are taught to do everything and be everything to everyone else. Religions press upon you to give and give and give and rarely are we to receive. The economy dictates that we must buy and buy and buy to keep ahead of our neighbors or be better than them. We are taught that our children come first and our husband’s needs are to be above our own. Many cultures do this. Back in the days that the man was the breadwinner of the family the wife put all of her needs and desires under his needs. He was the King of the house and he always came first. Some still live this way.

I have found that many others do and feel the same way. I am sure that many others that I don’t know have this problem as well.

Assessing Your Situation

Here is a problem solving technique. It will help you understand what is going on.

Sit down in a comfy chair. Dis-associate your self from the emotions that you have with the situation you are having. See the two of you in a living room battling it out.

Now take yourself out of that body and see yourself looking into that living room window. Watch what is going on. Listen to what each person is saying and how they are saying it. See what the other person is doing.

Remember or pull into your mind what you know about this other person and do the same for yourself.

Now see if you can see the situation for what it truly is. What are you supposed to be learning from this relationship?

What is Self Care?

Take care of your "self". What exactly does that mean?  It turns out that we weren't programmed to think of ourselves first before others. We are programmed to think of others first. When we think of doing something that we like we come up with things that please or do for others, not our selves. Taking care of someone else and making sure their needs are met, like a child, is NOT Self Care. We are taught that if we put our needs and desires first that we are being selfish. It seems that when we do Self Care we end up on some kind of guilt trip. I have long since told people who try to make me go on these to pack their own bags because I am not going.

Through counseling I have learned so much about how I relate and how I allow others to relate to me. Setting Boundaries and sticking to them and not allowing others to treat you a certain way just is not taught to girls as they grow up.

Self Always Comes First

Questions to ask yourself:

How have you taken care of your spiritual needs?

How did you take care of your self? I hardly ever had an answer to this one. I lost my "self" to my partner and never thought about me.
Ask yourself, What about ME?
What is it with the Self Care and what do I like. This is just metaphorical as I use ME, but it is you the reader and the one who is reading this to answer.

In the song, "I've Never Been To Me", in the video I believe that the singer speaks of a person whom is being abused in some way. Here are some of the words to that song for you to ponder.

Hey lady, you lady, cursing at your life

You're a discontented mother and a regimented wife

I've no doubt you dream about the things you'll never do

But, I wish someone had talked to me

Like I wanna talk to you.....

Please lady, please lady, don't just walk away

'Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today

I can see so much of me still living in your eyes

Won't you share a part of a weary heart that has lived million lies....

Hey lady......

I've been to paradise, (I've been to paradise)

But I've never been to me

Put No Other Gods Before Thee

So let’s get down to finding out about Self. I believe the first commandment in the 10 Commandments talks about the self. Let me explain. Jesus said that we are God because we create our circumstances and we are responsible for whatever we think about or do and it can be good things or bad things.

So the first commandment says that we shall have no other gods (as in other people whom are their own God) before you. Powerful statement, No Other Gods Before You. Take care of your SELF before you can take care of anyone else. You matter because it is you that created and are responsible for your own thoughts and deeds and you are soley responsible for what you also re-act to.

We must take care of our bodies and our minds and our souls before we can give to others. If we go to the extreme and we give too much to others then we are not following this and we do lose our own "self". We get sick and we get tired and a host of other symptoms, diseases and conditions occur in our bodies that reflect this. This is what sin is. It is not against others, it is against our "selves". This is why Self Care is so important.

Practice What You Preach

Your assignment is to do something just for you each day. Sounds easy enough doesn't it? Well with all that I have said in this article, it is not that easy. Careful to not be stuck in the mode of putting other Gods before you. Learn to set boundaries. Yes, it is hard but a healthy person has those in place and they do not let anyone step inside of them.

That is why I wrote this article. I want to give others ways to do Self Care and not feel guilty about doing them. It is our wellspring and will only flow if we let it. Keeping this down inside of you will only stagnant those waters that should flow from you. So lets see what we can do to aid in our stress relief and get us healthier.

Some Self Care Things The You Can Do

Some simple things that you can do for your own self care to bring some much needed stress relief:

• Turn off the phone or any other communication devises and take a nice long hot bubble bath.
• Get a Mani-Pedicure
• Get a head and neck massage
• A full body massage is very good.
• Read a good book
• Listen to some music that you love. There is a truth the music therapy.Soft music combined with some relaxations exercises is an excellent way of relieving stress.
• Gardening is a stress reliever and it can be just potting your plants or taking care of them.
• Creating something from your own hands. For instance, pottery, knitting or crocheting or any other craft.
• Any physical activity such as walking, running, skiing, canoeing, horseback riding. Energy kept inside your body can be used up in doing something that releases that energy.
• Take time out and think of something or someplace that relaxes you and stay there for some minutes to however you want. Use your imagination to take a trip in your mind.
• Have a pet. Take a cat to bed or a dog. Pet, brush or groom your pet. This is known to bring stress levels down.
• Acupuncture or Acupressure.
• Focus on a single object. Look at it in all it's details.
• LAUGH! Watch a funny movie.
• Sit in nature and just watch what goes on in the trees, in the city, in the surroundings around you. Nature doesn't stop because you do.
• Coloring. Yes it is known that coloring, painting, drawings is a stress reliever. Go get a coloring book and some crayons and color away your stress.

Now go take care of your self.  Enjoy life for what you have right now in this moment.  You may not get another chance.

Have a nice day!