How many of you have never really thought about what you do
for yourself? In today’s world we are taught to do everything and be everything
to everyone else. Religions press upon you to give and give and give and rarely
are we to receive. The economy dictates that we must buy and buy and buy to
keep ahead of our neighbors or be better than them. We are taught that our
children come first and our husband’s needs are to be above our own. Many
cultures do this. Back in the days that the man was the breadwinner of the
family the wife put all of her needs and desires under his needs. He was the
King of the house and he always came first. Some still live this way.
I have found that many others do and feel the same way. I am
sure that many others that I don’t know have this problem as well.
Here is a problem solving technique. It will help you
understand what is going on.
Sit down in a comfy chair. Dis-associate your self from the
emotions that you have with the situation you are having. See the two of you in
a living room battling it out.
Now take yourself out of that body and see yourself looking
into that living room window. Watch what is going on. Listen to what each
person is saying and how they are saying it. See what the other person is
doing.
Remember or pull into your mind what you know about this
other person and do the same for yourself.
Now see if you can see the situation for what it truly is.
What are you supposed to be learning from this relationship?
Take care of your "self". What exactly does that
mean? It turns out that we weren't programmed to think of
ourselves first before others. We are programmed to think of others first. When
we think of doing something that we like we come up with things that please or
do for others, not our selves. Taking care of someone else and making sure
their needs are met, like a child, is NOT Self Care. We are taught that if we
put our needs and desires first that we are being selfish. It seems that when
we do Self Care we end up on some kind of guilt trip. I have long since told
people who try to make me go on these to pack their own bags because I am not
going.
Through counseling I have learned so much about how I relate
and how I allow others to relate to me. Setting Boundaries and sticking to them
and not allowing others to treat you a certain way just is not taught to girls
as they grow up.
Self Always Comes First
Questions to ask yourself:
How have you taken care of your spiritual needs?
How did you take care of your self? I hardly ever had an
answer to this one. I lost my "self" to my partner and never thought
about me.
Ask yourself, What about ME?
What is it with the Self Care and what do I like. This
is just metaphorical as I use ME, but it is you the reader and the one who is reading this to answer.
In the song, "I've Never Been To Me", in the video
I believe that the singer speaks of a person whom is being abused in some way. Here are some of the
words to that song for you to ponder.
Hey lady, you lady, cursing at your life
You're a discontented mother and a regimented wife
I've no doubt you dream about the things you'll never do
But, I wish someone had talked to me
Like I wanna talk to you.....
Please lady, please lady, don't just walk away
'Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today
I can see so much of me still living in your eyes
Won't you share a part of a weary heart that has lived
million lies....
Hey lady......
I've been to paradise, (I've been to paradise)
But I've never been to me
Put No Other Gods Before Thee
So let’s get down to finding out about Self. I believe the
first commandment in the 10 Commandments talks about the self. Let me explain.
Jesus said that we are God because we create our circumstances and we are
responsible for whatever we think about or do and it can be good things or bad
things.
So the first commandment says that we shall have no other
gods (as in other people whom are their own God) before you. Powerful
statement, No Other Gods Before You. Take care of your SELF before you can take
care of anyone else. You matter because it is you that created and are
responsible for your own thoughts and deeds and you are soley responsible for
what you also re-act to.
We must take care of our bodies and our minds and our souls
before we can give to others. If we go to the extreme and we give too much to
others then we are not following this and we do lose our own "self".
We get sick and we get tired and a host of other symptoms, diseases and
conditions occur in our bodies that reflect this. This is what sin is. It is
not against others, it is against our "selves". This is why Self Care
is so important.
Practice What You Preach
Your assignment is to do something just for you each day. Sounds easy enough doesn't it? Well with all that I have said in
this article, it is not that easy. Careful to not be stuck in the mode of putting other Gods
before you. Learn to set boundaries. Yes, it is hard but a healthy person has those in place and they do
not let anyone step inside of them.
That is why I wrote this article. I want to
give others ways to do Self Care and not feel guilty about doing
them. It is our wellspring and will only flow if we let it. Keeping this down
inside of you will only stagnant those waters that should flow from you. So
lets see what we can do to aid in our stress relief and get us healthier.
Some Self Care Things The You Can Do
Some simple things that you can do for your own self care to
bring some much needed stress relief:
- Turn off the phone or any other communication devises and
take a nice long hot bubble bath.
- Get a Mani-Pedicure
- Get a head and neck massage
- A full body massage is very good.
- Read a good book
- Listen to some music that you love. There is a truth the
music therapy.Soft music combined with some relaxations exercises is an
excellent way of relieving stress.
- Gardening is a stress reliever and it can be just potting
your plants or taking care of them.
- Creating something from your own hands. For instance,
pottery, knitting or crocheting or any other craft.
- Any physical activity such as walking, running, skiing,
canoeing, horseback riding. Energy kept inside your body can be used up in
doing something that releases that energy.
- Take time out and think of something or someplace that
relaxes you and stay there for some minutes to however you want. Use your
imagination to take a trip in your mind.
- Have a pet. Take a cat to bed or a dog. Pet, brush or groom your
pet. This is known to bring stress levels down.
- Acupuncture or Acupressure.
- Focus on a single object. Look at it in all it's details.
- LAUGH! Watch a funny movie.
- Sit in nature and just watch what goes on in the trees,
in the city, in the surroundings around you. Nature doesn't stop because you
do.
- Coloring. Yes it is known that coloring, painting, drawings
is a stress reliever. Go get a coloring book and some crayons and color away
your stress.
Now go take care of your self. Enjoy life for what you have right now in this moment. You may not get another chance.
Have a nice day!